5 Things I Learned From My Dad

 

Fatherhood is the most rewarding but toughest job out there. In fact its so tough, you don't understand how hard of a job it is until you become one. Which leads me to the latest blog entry, 5 things I've learned from my dad.

 Now full disclosure my dad and I did not have the best relationship, likely because although we have two different personalities. We are more alike than we both will admit to and that led to silly disagreements. But since I've gotten older, became a father and see things differently. Our relationship has greatly improved, and some of the things he often would drill in my brother's and I heads are so clear now.

So with that, here are 5 things I learned from my dad that damnit are so true. 

5. Always Carry I.D.

Along with the "talk" about how to conduct yourself if your pulled over by the police. My dad always told us, make sure you have your I.D. on you. One reason being, if you don't have I.D. you always fit the description if something goes down. Could have been a scare tactic but makes sense.

The older I've gotten I've met grown men who actually don't carry I.D. nor have I.D. period. A true head scratcher for me, but now it makes sense why my dad pushed that. Besides potential legal issues, you come across as a bum being a grown man with no I.D.

4 . Always Give Firm Handshakes 

Another thing he taught us is always give firm handshakes. Or in his word's shake hands like you have some balls. And he's right when you meet people for the first time and give a firm handshake, their respect level towards you inches up a bit more before a conversation. I've been told several times I have a strong handshake, even from professional athletes I've met that are typically big guys my handshake is firm.

3. Honesty is the best way

My Dad always prefaced this with people may not like it. He however always stressed honesty is the way to go. From dealing with young ladies, to work, to life in general. Just being honest about everything, take any heat that comes from it and move on.

He's right, you start lying you get yourself in more trouble. Trying to remember what lie you told, maintaining that lie etc. It becomes more work than just being truthful.

2. Someone's not gon like you just cause 

I'm one of those people in my mind, if you don't get along with me you have the problem. In my experience in the working world, I've worked with people that clearly didnt like me. And I couldn't tell you why, we rarely exchanged words or had much interaction that they would know my personality enough. To formulate an opinion that they did not like me.

However, I just chalked it up again to thats a them issue. And my father always told us, no matter who you are, what you do, how nice you are somebody is not going to like you. That constant reminder is how I learned to shrug them off and go about my day.

1. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy

Here's probably the biggest lesson my dad shared for years, that I totally understand now. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy and accept it. Not because you want to, but because thats what the situation calls for. As a husband and father, and a manager in my professional career. I 1,000% get it now.

Sometimes you have to make unpopular decisions, that go against what people want. Whether its flat out saying no, or we can't do that right now. You have to make the tough decision that may keep things from falling apart, or saying no on short term pleasures that will cause harm down the road. 

It's your responsibility to keep everything in order. To keep your stress levels down, you have to tell people no sometimes and let them get them over.

I dont always like being the bad guy, but sometimes I have to embrace it.

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Five Underrated Movie Dads

 

In the land of movie dad's, the criteria of a great dad isn't really defined. Even though there is a general agreement that figures such as Mustafa, Marlin, Gil Buckman, Bryan Mills, and even Henry Jones Sr. are considered great dads. In the realm of film though there are several great dad's that have been portrayed on the big screen, that either were misunderstood or just forgotten about. So with that, here are 5 underrated movie dads. 

5. Jackson Lamb- Super 8

In Super 8 Jackson Lamb is the sheriff of the small Ohio town the film take's place in. He has a distant relationship with his son Joe, as both are grieving the loss of Joe's mom. Jackson carries the weight of grief on his shoulders, but doesn't know how to heal from it except put it in the back of his mind. When the time come's to help Joe and his friend's save the town and help the monster, the two come together to heal. Jackson shows that all that time he cared but was too hung up in his own grief to show it 

4. Dill Penderghest-Easy A

                                       

Played by Stanley Tucci in 2010's Easy A, Dill Penderghest was a very peculiar father. Part hippie, part guy that just marches to the beat of his own dream, and a bit head strong. He also showed traits that he definitely smoked his fair share of weed. A bit of a free spirit, you just weren't sure what was going to come out of his mouth at times. One thing was for sure though, he loved his family and took care of them and that's all one could ask for. 

3. Jack Aarons-Bridge To Terabitha 

Jack Aarons was played by Robert Patrick in 2007's Bridge To Terabitha. Robert already has a stone face and cold demeanor anyway, so it's no surprise he portrayed the dad that way in this film. He also was the stereotypical dad in that he showed incredible love and care towards his daughter May Belle, while being cold towards his son Jess at times. It's not until Jess experiences the incredible loss, that Jack shows he is there for his son and truly loves him. 

2. Noah Levenstein- American Pie

                                    

Noah Levenstein better known as Jim's dad played by comedy legend Eugene Levy, is the personification of a supportive dad if there ever was one. While a bit tone deaf, geeky, and awkward, he always stood by Jim in some of his most embarrassing moments. While also offering life advice that when you stopped and thought about it, actually made a great deal of sense. Nailing the role of a dad trying to help him through that weird stage teenagers go through when sex is all that's on the brain.

1. Gomez Addams-Addams Family

                                             

Gomez Addams the wealthy patriarch of the Addams Family that under the quirks and the eccentric behavior. As well as the families macabre lifestyle, was a very loving husband and father. His love and devotion to his wife Morticia was always on display, but it was his love for his kids that was even stronger. His parenting style was unorthodox, but he was always there. Whether it was for school plays, school or camp drop-offs, or just to play a random game only The Addam's understood. Gomez Addams was a kooky but great dad.

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5 Best Surrogate Dads Vol. 1

Father's day is this week and as always I have to shout out my fellow dad's. I'm kicking things off with surrogate dad's in film and TV. The role of surrogate's in real life and in entertainment is often overlooked, but they play a very important role in folk's they affect life. So, here we are with 5 of the best surrogate dad's.

Coach Bombay

One of the greatest coaches' in sport's films history. Gordon Bombay was a successful but troubled lawyer who took a team of kid's who just needed someone to believe in them, and teach them the way's of winning. In the meantime, the team taught him that winning wasn't everything and helped him gain closure on some lingering issues from his youth that still haunted him. Coach Bombay mentored those kid's well into their adult years throughout the franchise. Making him one of the best surrogate fathers ever.

Bernie Mac

Based on his stand up routine, Bernie Mac's 2000's sitcom The Bernie Mac Show highlighted how anyone can be a dad. Taking in his nephew and two nieces, Bernie's style was a little rough and blunt (which the kid's needed), and sometimes he displayed annoyance with the situation he was put into. However with his wife Wanda by his side, Bernie Mac showed everything he did with those kid's was out of love.

Hopper (Stranger Things)

Hopper was the Chief of Police in Hawkins, who just went about life flowing a bit. When he became entangled in Will Byer's missing case and the things that lurk underneath Hawkins, he took to the young runaway Eleven. Eventually bringing her into his home to keep her safe and raising her as his own. Hopper at times could be over protective and hard on Eleven, but he wanted to give her as much of a normal childhood as possible. He also would fill in as the surrogate dad for the other Hawkins kid's when called upon, making him a great surrogate dad.

Rocky

Rocky Balboa had a son that he didn't pay full attention to nor have the best relationship with. He tried the surrogate dad role once in Rocky V, to an ungrateful Tommy Gunn. It wasn't until 2015's Creed that he truly took on that fatherly role. Strong armed into mentoring him by a persistent Adonis Creed, Rocky took his years of boxing wisdom and life mistakes to help mold Adonis. Training him to be a boxer, while acknowledging the hurt he had inside from never meeting his father. Rocky's relationship with Adonis, helped him work towards severing his relationship with Rocky Jr. 

Mr. Miyagi

Mr. Miyagi was a calm, philosophical older man who took a young man under his wing and helped him believed in himself. Daniel LaRusso was the new kid in town, angry at being in a new city and school. As well as still grieving from the loss of his father several years prior. Once Mr. Miyagi assisted him in learning martial arts to win a karate tournament, Daniel started to learn how karate and life are intertwined. Although still hot headed he learned to temper his anger and that everything doesn't require a fight. 

Daniel wasn't Mr. Miyagi's only pupil. He also trained young Julie Pierce who had similar issues as Daniel. She lost both her parent's and was an outcast at school, and Mr. Miyagi also took her under his wing. Teaching her as well to control her temper and make the best of things that make her happy. Taking on two youth's who just needed some guidance, is why Mr. Miyagi is the best surrogate dad ever.

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5 Action Movies Really About FatherHood

 

Fatherhood is a very complex role that is often overlooked honestly. It is a tough job that one doesn't always get right and is always learning in. With Father's Day this weekend, I went through the film crates and picked five action/adventure movies about father's and fatherhoods that are themes of films, and you wouldn't realize it at first.

 5. Hook

1991's Hook directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook and Robin Williams as Peter Banning, an adult Peter Pan. I enjoyed the movie as a kid and wanted to be a part of the cool kids known as The Lost Boys, but I always felt the movie was a little long. Now as an adult I kind of understand why. The movie follows a typical Spielberg subject is about fathers and fatherhood and it was quite a lot to unpack in the film. Let's break it down really quick.

Peter Pan was abandoned as infant, grew up alongside his fellow lost boys raising themselves in Neverland and never aging. Once he decided to leave Neverland he was adopted by a now adult Wendy and raised by her. Peter never had a father role model, so he grew up to become a success driven yuppie who often neglected his kids not on purpose, but because he didn't know any better. His son Jack yearns for nothing more than his dad to acknowledge him and spend time with him and his sister Maggie. Jack nearly falls under the spell of his almost "surrogate" father Captain Hook, until Peter realizes a lot about himself in his return to Neverland.

 4. Rocky V 

Rocky V is like a paradox of a movie for lack of a better word. It begins right after Rocky's Christmas bout against Drago in Rocky IV which was in 1985. Yet several years have clearly passed, and Rocky Jr. who we last saw as a 9 year old in the previous film is now somewhere between 12 and 13 years old. Yet no one bat's a eye at this development, there are some other hiccups with the film but it is not as bad as many claim.

Despite it's issue one thing it does get right is one area Rocky needs to work on, in being a father. Rocky and his son have a close relationship that deteriorates as Rocky's protege Tommy Gunn steps on the scene and begins to gain acclimate. Rocky treats him as a son, in turn neglecting his own son yet not fully realizing it, (Rocky is a tad slow after all). Rocky must work to repair that relationship and although it's quickly resolved, it does highlight the importance of fathers maintaining that bond with their kids. Being self aware of intervening and acknowledging when things are no longer going smooth in the relationship. 

Rocky V is not the only film in the series that touches on fatherhood, here's an article from the crates on the theme of fathers in Creed II.

 3. Black Panther

Which segues into the next film on the list Black Panther, starring Michael B. Jordan and  the late Chadwick Boseman. Directed by Ryan Coogler who directed the original Creed film. Jordan and Chadwick play distant first cousins on opposite sides of ideology, who are more alike than they may think. They both have been molded and severely affected by actions of their fathers, Killmonger has a thirst for revenge and a desire to turn the world order upside down. Inspired by the teachings of his father. The scene where Killmonger meets his father in the ancestral plane shows how much he really needed his father. T'Challa while more noble aspires to make his father proud in the afterlife following his steps.

Yet T'Challa soon learns of past trangressions of his father, and that the ideals shared by his father and past generations of how to protect Wakanda are harming people more than helping. The two wrestle with the shadows of their respective fathers, while forging their own paths. Sometimes no matter how much you aspire to be like your father, or finish what they started you have to make your own way. On the other hand, as one grows older they may learn their father's teachings weren't always right and set out make their own way.

 2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

 

1990's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is without question the best live action Turtles film ever produced. Besides the grittier tone than the other films, the at that time cutting edge animatronics and the cool fight scenes. The film also had a heart and a message about fathers and the importance they play in youngsters lives. The turtles really come into their own and learn to lean on one another more when their surrogate father Splinter is abducted by the foot clan. It's clear from the moment they realize it, they are essentially lost without him as he has guided their lives thus far.

On the flip side Shredder is leading astray youths recruiting them into his organization to do his dirty work. He reminds the wayward youths that they are family and he is their "father", brainwashing kids who just want to belong to something or feel loved. That point is driven home by the inclusion of a teenager named Danny, who's father is April O'neil's manager. His father has his head so deep into work, he doesnt realize he's neglecting Danny. Which leads him to the Foot Clan and Shredder.

The movie is really deep on the subject of fathers when you think about it.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy 2

When we met Peter Quill in Guardians Of The Galaxy, we learned he was an only child of his mother who was dying from cancer. Upon her passing he was abducted and whisked off to space, becoming a rogue space pirate who eventually helped save the galaxy. At the end of the film he learns he is half human and his father is from a powerful alien race. Fast forward a few years, and Peter finally meet's his father Ego in Guardians Of The Galaxy 2. Trying to catch up on years of missed time, he becomes a starry eyed kid again,

Until he learns his father isn't what he seems and just because someone sires you, that doesn't make them your father. Eventually Peter is torn between the biggest father figures in his life, Ego who he just met. And Yondu who actually raised him the best way he knew how and cared for Peter as a person. In addition to coming terms with who his true "father" was, Quill also learns about family. Accepting the rest of the team as his true family.

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Best Action Movie Dads

 It's that time of year to celebrate all of the great father's out there, and all that we do big and small for our families. As I do every year since becoming a father, I write a blog or two about fatherhood and pop culture in some way. This year I decided to focus on Action Movie father's.

We all love a good action movie, and action character especially when they are relatable. Here are the top five action movie dad's in my opinion.

5. Scott Lang

Scott Lang may not be as strong as Thor, as smart as Tony Stark, or noble as Captain America. One thing Scott Lang definitely is..is a father. A very goofy, flawed and aloof one at that, but a very loving one. In each of his three Ant-Man films, his relationship with his daughter is a driving force within the plot.

Feeling like he missed so much of her life while incarcerated, then thanks to the blip and him being stuck in the Quantum Realm. He cherishes every moment he has with Cassie. He may not be out snapping necks, but his actions are made with the intent to secure his relationship with Cassie and protect her at all cost. 

4. John Matrix

                                

Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as John Matrix in the 1985 film Commando. A single father who happens to be a retired Special Forces colonel. He set's out to rescue his daughter Jenny, when she is used as collateral to get him to perform an assassination attempt on a political figure in a fictional South American country.

John's not having any of that and set's out to destroy a lot of shit to save his daughter. When he's not blowing shit up, he's a gentle giant taking walks with Jenny and be a nurturer of pets. Bottom line don't cross him or his daughter. 

3. Cameron Poe

In 1997's Con Air, Nicolas Cage play's Cameron Poe a former Army Ranger who killed a man attacking his pregnant wife. Eight year's later eligible  for parole, he just so happens to be on the same plan with a bunch of hardcore murderers who decide to hijack the plane. All he want's to do is get home to his wife and his now 8 year old daughter he's never met.

Cameron's sole purpose in this film is to get to his family. He save's the day and attacks any prisoners who views him as a threat. All in the name of a husband's and father's love, you can't go wrong with that.

2. Roger Murtaugh

Roger Murtaugh is a LAPD veteran played by Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon series. He always manages to put up with his crazy partner Riggs (Mel Gibson) antics, and his most famous line in the entire series is "I'm getting too old for this shit". Murtaugh is the father of three children Rianne, Nick, and Carrie. Rianne has subplots in the first and fourth films, while Nick has a significant subplot in the third film. Poor Carrie is just there in all three films.

Through the series Murtaugh proves he will do whatever is necessary to protect his family, including becoming one cold bastard making sure they are safe when they are targeted by criminals. In the fourth film he also establishes a friendship with a Chinese immigrant Hong bonding over both being family men.

Through the series it's often highlighted that one defining trait of Murtaugh is how much of a family man he is. 

1. Bryan Mills

We've all seen the films and offered our opinions on what we would do in those scenarios. The Taken film series features Liam Neeson as Bryan Mills. A former CIA agent who travels to France to rescue his daughter who has been abducted by some sex traffickers. Simply put Bryan shows how dangerous and lethal he is when he goes on his mission.

He may not have been a great husband and realizes the error of his previous ways, but no doubt he is a top tier father throughout the film series. Traveling half way around the world to rescue his daughter (which every parent would do) and using all the ingenuity he can to make it work. Is why he's one of the top action movie dads

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Underrated TV Dads

 

It’s Father’s Day Weekend and around this time you’ll see articles about the best TV dads. Frequent names that make the list are often familiar, like James Evans, Mike Brady, Cliff Huxtable (regardless of the man who played him transgressions), Phil Banks, Carl Winslow, Randall Pearson, Jack Pearson, Andy Griffith, and Richard Cunningham. Throughout the history of TV there have been several great dad characters, here is a list of ten underrated TV dads in my opinion.

10. Rome Howard-A Million Little Things

Since A Million Little Things is still on the air Rome’s story as a father isn’t over, but so far, he has done an exceptional job as a foster parent to Tyrell. Rome wanted nothing more to be a parent, in case you haven’t seen the show and want to I won’t give away too much. I will say though Tyrell came into Rome and his wife’s Regina lives at the right time. Rome has shown foster parents are just as important and influential as biological parents.

9. Alan Matthews-Boy Meets World

Alans Matthews wasn’t a hard-nosed dad by any stretch, but he was a realistic, likeable and caring dad. He worked hard to provide for his three kids. He even showed them that when your hard work isn’t appreciated, sometimes you have to step out and take a chance on yourself. Alan also took a role as a father figure for Corey’s best friend Shawn when he would need it the most.

8. Keith Mars-Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars overall is a very underrated and underappreciated show, think it had a lot to do with being ahead of it’s time and airing on UPN. That’s another story for another day, anyway Keith Mars is a very underrated dad. A county sheriff who later transitioned to a private investigator, he encouraged Veronica to use her sleuth skills for causes that were important. He always stressed to be safe and did everything he could to protect Veronica. Veronica’s mom left the family before the series started and it did a good job covering single dads and how hard it can be at times.

7. Graham Lubbock-Just The Ten Of Us

Just The Ten Of Us is a often forgotten sitcom that was a spin-off of Growing Pains. The series featured a high school basketball coach along with his wife raising their eight children. Four of them being teenage girls. Graham’s daughters also attended the school he coached at which gave him new headaches. He had to juggle catering to his wife, his children they’re varying personalities and needs. Budgeting for his family and so much more. Graham Lubbock does not get talked about enough in the land of TV dads.

6. Phillip Drummond-Diff'rent Strokes 

Phillip Drummond was the archetype of the white savior trope often used in television. That doesn't mean he wasn't a damn good dad though. Taking in his former housekeepers sons as her dying wish, he instantly took to the boys and raised them as his own. Providing them with love, care, and guidance as if they were his own. He also was stern when he needed to be, never letting the kids including his daughter get too mischievous.

5. Floyd Henderson-Smart Guy

Floyd Henderson often is overlooked when it comes to TV dads. That man had a lot on his plate, the widowed father of three kids. He juggled running a small roofing company, and three very different children with very different personalities. Child Genius TJ, popular but always looking to get rich quick Marcus, and activist daughter Yvette. Somehow Floyd kept it all together, always there for his children to help them in their time of need and provide advice.

4. Eddie Sutton-Lincoln Heights

Eddie Sutton is an LAPD police officer who moves his family into his old neighborhood hoping to make a difference. His family doesn’t initially approve of the move from their comfortable suburban home. Throughout the series, Eddie helps his family navigate through many challenges while navigating throughout challenges of his own. Always levelheaded and rarely losing his composure despite his stressful job and environment. Eddie Sutton is a very underrated TV dad much like the show is underrated.

3. Pops-The Wayans Bros.

Pops played by the legendary John Witherspoon was often a highlight of the Wayans Bros. He loved both his son’s and supported them every step of the way but was not afraid one bit to let them know they were being stupid etc. Pops also was known for his outlandish style which everyone made fun of, but he didn’t give a damn. He also felt his sons were never too old for an ass whipping and often pulled his belt out to beat two grown men.

2. Julius Rock-Everybody Hate's Chris

Julius Rock is probably the father many wouldn’t care to have as a child, but as an adult would appreciate. He’s one of the cheapest mofos you ever would want to meet but did what he had to do to support his wife and three kids. Working multiple jobs to make ends meet and counting every penny, he does not let a thing go to waste. He may not get you the things you want, but he will get you the things you need. At the end of the day when you look at what’s important that’s all that matters. 

1. Robert Peterson-Parent'Hood

Robert Peterson is a father of four who is a college professor. He is a caring but strict father and his imagination is just as vivid as any child. He often dreams of elaborate scenarios and stories in his head. A very good and caring man overall he took in a trouble youth and helped steer him towards a better path. Along with his wife they did the best they could to give their kids what they could without spoiling them rotten. Parent’Hood is an underrated sitcom and Robert Peterson is the most underrated TV dad in my opinion. 

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