Definition of Successful

Successful is defined by Webster dictionary as a adjective and means "resulting or terminating in success" or "gaining or having gained success."

Everyone wakes up everyday with the goal of being successful. Every working person is hardworking and makes a goal of being successful in life and what they do. Some people just want to be successful point blank period. However there are different definitions and interpretations of successful. To some people a high paying, demanding job, where they make a ton of money is successful. Other people view success as having a good job, a job they love, or a job they can tolerate that pays the bills and provides them comfort. Leaving them with time to have a life.                    

There lies the balance, the work life balance. While everyone will not be rich or wealthy, how much is one willing to sacrifice to obtain the other? Though this is not the case in all situations a lot of ultra successful people sacrifice their personal lives. They miss out on family events, don’t take vacations, or work while on vacation. Take no days off, work on their off day. Whatever they feel needs to happen for the job to get done. A lot of ultra successful people often end up miserable because they lack relationships due to putting work first.                                                     

On the other hand there are folks who want to do their 40 hours a week and call it a day. Some people even prefer to work 32 hours a week to spend more time with their family. They may not be rich and are just “making it”, but they are living their life the way they want, are right there for every precious family moment. They Love it and in the end they are happy.                                                                                

Then there are the small minority who have somehow made it all work. Highly successful in their profession and a good family life. While working demanding long hours, around the clock, they value the importance of personal time. So there lies a ? is there a surefire way to have a good work/life balance, are there any individuals wrong because they prefer one over the other. Is it as simple as what the person in that position values in life? How do we truly define being successful?

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Maintaining Relationships

In life relationships with people are often your backbone. You'll come across people in your life whether family or friends, that you have certain relationships or bonds with. Sometimes throughout life we often forget to maintain those relationships and keep in touch.

About a month ago I lost my stepfather, just a little backstory him and my mother were no longer together but we maintained a relationship and kept in touch over the years. A couple days before he passed I randomly thought to myself I hadn't talked to him in a while and needed to hit him up. After I thought about it I went on and did something else and kept saying "I'm going to call him." Well I didn't and never got the chance to before he unexpectedly passed. 

Since then it really has been bothering me that I did not call him. Why didn't I call him? The day to day nuances of living life and kicking it down the road. 

Everyday we as people get up go to work, take care of any responsibilities we may have, take care of our families and do it all over again. Often times that interferes with checking on people.

I'm here to suggest stop doing that. If you have friends you grew up with but life as adults have caused you to not keep in touch as much hit them up. Have a buddy that has a common hobby with you, hit them up when something occurs that reminds of you them. Come across a old picture of you and your friends looking crazy when y'all thought y'all looked cool. Hit them up with "look what I found". Realized you haven't talked to so and so in a while? Call them or send them a text saying "Thought about you hope all is well" or something to that effect. 

Adulting is a busy lifestyle and keeping in touch with everyone you have or have maintained a relationship with in life can be difficult. I believe we as a society especially in this social media age sees a person make a post and assume they're doing fine or know their in a good place in their life. Other times we know so and so talks to them more often so I'll just ask them how they're doing. We have to stop doing that.  Especially with the different lines of communication phone calls, text, instant messages, emails, facetime etc.

In life some people just naturally gravitate from one another sometimes for a reason, other times just the way life goes. That's OK situations like that it is what it is, but take it from me when you think of someone send them a text right then and there, can't do it at that exact time? Make a note in your phone to do it within the next half hour to a hour, just make a conscious effort to keep in touch as much as you can as soon as you can.

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Brah, WE MADE IT

  I recently read an article about a panel discussing the quality of life in Baltimore and how to turn around the misconceptions that are associated with living in Baltimore, an panel member made a statement that to a lot of city residents moving to the county is “making it”. That brings up a interesting question what is “making it”?

  Through media, music, even family and friend influences we often think we know what making it is. A college degree, good job, family, and that big house in the suburbs aka “The American Dream” is often considered making it. The ability to purchase material possessions such as jewelry, cars, luxury goods and still maintain a comfortable lifestyle is making it to others. Retiring early and enjoying your golden years with no worries is making it to others. Athletes entering the pros, aspiring actors and actresses getting cast in their first role is making it. The ability to buy the latest iPhone every time it's released is making it for some. Hell a slacker waking up everyday, doing nothing may be making it.

  These are all attributes of making it, but truth be told making it and being successful is ultimately up to the individual person. There are many ways to be successful in life and make it. It falls on what you decide is most important to you in life.

   Want a masters degree? go for it you made it. Want to visit all seven continents and numerous countries? Shoot for the moon damnit so you can make it. Want to be a public servant and help those in need? You’re making it cause your making a difference in the world. Aspire to attend a Super Bowl no matter the team? Do what you gotta do. Want to drink a bottle of henny everyday after a hard days work? Do that shit.

    The concept of “making it” is all based on what you decide you want out of life, your personal and professional goals, and doing what makes you happy. Aspiring not to get sucked in the rat race of life of doing the same thing over and over. If you can identify everything you wish to do in life and accomplishment a majority of it or hopefully ALL of it, you’ve made it. Pay society's definition of the "dream" no mind. Hold your head high and let everyone know your living the dream. You define what "making it" is, not society.

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Playing Catch Up

We all struggle with something be it something physical, mental, roadblocks, money, addiction anything. It’s a part of human nature it’s what we do. It makes us better people when we overcome the struggle.

 My brother hosted a radio show where he encouraged folks to share a few things they struggle with to help overcome those struggles. That inspired me to write this blog about something I struggle with and I'm not sure many people struggle with it.

  I know it’s a mental struggle but it is very real to me. I struggle with timing, not time management but timing as in I feel like I'm behind on time and accomplishments based on my age and decisions I've made in my life.

  For example I finished high school in 2004, unsure of what to do with myself I worked until returning to school in 2006 and completing my associate's in 2008. After 9 years I returned to school last year to complete my bachelor's. I'm on track to finish in 2020 which honestly the way timeflies nowadays is around the corner. However I put myself on a aggressive schedule to finish in a attempt to “catch up”

  Now some people will say what’s wrong with that, but to me I often sit back and think if I just went to college right out of high school and got my 4 year degree I would be better off right now and college would be a afterthought.

  Another example after receiving my associates in 2008 I didn’t get a job in my field until 2013. While I’ve progressed at my job in the 5 years I’ve been there in the back of mind I think had I did this at that point, I would be here now doing that instead of what I’m currently doing.

  Don’t get me wrong, I have a very blessed life that I am thankful for. I have enjoyed myself, I’ve traveled frequently and seen what the world has to offer, did some bucket list items. Got married and bought a home, make a good living but  at times I wonder am I being ungrateful as there are others in my age group in less fortunate circumstances then I am.

  I also have to remind myself that in those years the path I took gave me a lot of life lessons. It provided me with work knowledge on how to deal with certain types of people or situations in the workplace. The path also allowed me to come across some great people that took me under their wing and are family now. If I didn’t make the decisions I did not really knowing what to do with myself, I wouldn’t have met those people who taught me things about life.

  I suffer from doing more and playing catch up. I need to do more, and I need to catch up for things I didn’t do in my twenties that I should have. No matter how many stories I hear of successful people who didn’t hit their stride until their mid thirties or later. I’m always thinking if made this one move some odd years ago I’d be even better. It’s a constant struggle of mine and I’m not sure how to overcome it.

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